Makeover: Subtle Changes Make A Noticeable Difference
Part 1 of 2
by Karon Thackston © 2011
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Changing a few
words in your copy can lead to double-digit increases in conversions.
If that sounds like a bunch of hype from an online infomercial,
stick around and I'll show you how it's done.
all that happened with Kneelsit.com, an Australian ergonomic computer
chair manufacturer. They had what would be considered a successful
site with a continual stream of orders. All the basic information
was already included on the home page, but the owner felt as though
something was not quite "there" yet. He wanted a fresh
approach to the site's copy, so that's what he received. And the
results were simply amazing.
had great rankings for their key terms (normally #1 to #4 in popular
search engines) keeping those rankings high required some attention
to the SEO piece of the puzzle. Conversions, however, were not at
their maximum. The business was not suffering, but it did have room
for improvement. So, after receiving a sample chair to use during
the process, I set (or should I say "sat") out to work.
Once I assembled
the chair and rolled it up to my desk, I kept a notepad nearby so
I could jot down benefits as I noticed them. In just a few days’
time, I had a long list of features and benefits to refer to.
As I read over
the original home page copy (which can be seen here: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/kneelsit-home-original.html),
I noticed something else. Many of the benefits I had on my paper
were referenced (at least briefly) in the original copy. Some were
phrased differently than I would later phrase them, but most were
this highly competitive industry, I wanted to be sure to keep the
uniqueness of the chair on the forefront. Visitors needed to quickly
see that the Kneelsit was superior to other computer chairs available.
The changing of some verbiage and providing more details in some
areas would help keep visitors reading and help them easily distinguish
this chair from others on their comparison list.
Once my list
of benefits was completed, I began relating these options to other
kneeling chairs and to users of ergonomic computer chairs. I wanted
to see which benefits on my list were unique in the marketplace.
I also wanted to know about the users of these chairs. After all,
the buyer is the center of the process and should also be the focus
of the copy.
revealed some of the reasons users would need an ergonomic chair
and also the biggest complaints about some of the current ergonomic
designs. In addition, I discovered which benefits were common to
other ergonomic chairs and which were distinctive.
Armed with the
research results, I started crafting the copy to speak to that one
person who was forced to sit at a computer all day, in pain, and
who desperately needed help. This person had tried several other
computer chairs before with little to no results and was getting
skeptical about finding a solution.
I looked back
over my list of benefits in search of the ones that would not be
found in the competition's copy. I focused on one exclusive, patented
feature (the axle design) and the fact that the chair was customizable
for every body type.
I laid out a
plan for the new copy including keyword selection, keyword placement,
benefits and key points to be mentioned.
Similar in many
ways to the original copy, the new version had some subtle, but
powerful, changes. The goal of the new copy was to show the true
distinction of these chairs by highlighting the most impressive
I would also
focus on incorporating keyphrases in headlines and sub-heads (where
it made sense to do so) and throughout the copy. I had to pay careful
attention to making the copy sound natural, as I never want the
SEO factors to overshadow the message of the page.
2 of this series, we'll take a look at what went into the rewrite
as well as what type of results were achieved with the new copy.
Copy not getting
results? Learn to write SEO copy that impresses the engines and
your visitors at http://www.copywritingcourse.com.
Be sure to also check out Karon’s latest e-report “How
To Increase Keyword Saturation (Without Destroying the Flow of Your
Copy)” at http://www.copywritingcourse.com/keyword.
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